No-one cares and no-one loves

Leting go is hard,but trying to forget is even harder.

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 02:59:41 GMT

Sorry i havnt updated ive been in jail.Since ive been out everything seems the same and nothings changed.Except i was "seeing" this boy and turns out i was wasteing my time,wow who wouldve thought I was so blind i shouldve seen it comeing.I guess im stupid when it comes to boys, wait boys are just stupid.Lately ive been feeling like megans phone,i think when i was grounded i missed megan and jay the most,as for kacie and jared their still tight as eva.Im going to see the black dahila murder that should be waay fun im excited even tho its in like a month.I guess my feelings for steven ave been growing,since i know nothing will happen i shouldnt get into it,but speeking of him i couldnt go to the throw down/the charriot show he bought me a hoodie(even tho i paid for half of it.haha) he's such a nice boy.I haven't been to practice in a week and today was the 1st day ive been back,it reminded me how much i hate swim.Ive been becomeing lazy lately and i kinda like it.I am suposed to be job looking but the lazzyness has gotten the best of me.Oh i got a new phone the # is 743-6993 if you dont have it save it,im getitng my hair done on thrus,THANK FGOD!..its been looking horible.I saw my mom the other day and as always she anoyed me and i dont miss her.Well i dont have anything else to say except West Coast has got me screaming,They’ve got me by the collar.

Shayna

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 04:39:11 GMT

well i dont really have much to say except for ive been really bussy with school and practice, lately i have been feeling stressed out and stuff.Spending more time with chelsea is a blast we did alot last weekend.im beging to expand my horizon with my friends if thats what you wanna call it.haha well if anyone wants to do anything this weekend you know my number

♥shayna

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 03:45:26 GMT

I miss you
But I haven't met you yet
So special
But it hasn't happened yet
You are gorgeous
But I haven't met you yet
I remember
But it hasn't happened yet

...And if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important
That a dream can come true
I, I will meet you
I was peaking

..These days have been okay i guess,just completeing them just as i have to but for no resson witch doesnt motivate me.Ive been confused these past days..or should i say out of it? eather or.I feel like i dont know what i want anymore and starting to realize things lately and also fustrted..Blah.i think im going to big bear with jay and megan but..i dont know if i want to go..the fact of being with jsut them to while im by myself is not the way i wanna spend my weekend or the rest of my days..let's jsut say being the 3rd weel is not fun..i guess i havent said anything because i dont wanna make it a big deal or anything but..i think things should change (not in a bad way)..well i think maybe i might be going ice skateing with micheal on fri or something, that should be fuun..and i have never gone before ill problly bust my ass..besides micheal's teaching me and be time im done i'll be pro.haha..or not!!!

♥shayna

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 10:17:00 GMT

new years resolution-
gain 75.55555 pounds
have sex with megin every night.
eat greesey big fat flinestone chicken wings after hot sex

the end

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Bang the guy who lives next door.

Get your resolution here

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 07:54:40 GMT

Sorry i havent up dated in a while ive been grouned it seems like ive been in jail,Well i missed megan since shes been in mexico for a week im really glad that she came over tonight and tomaorw im leaveing for lake tahoe..i really dont wanna go but im sure i will have fun.Ive been thinking about how some people disgust me and it makes me wish i never had met them, but i learnd not to stick to there level.Micheal called me the other night and i didnt get his call then i called him back and we talked i really miss him.I got an ipod for chirstmass i pned it up tonight and it was tight HAHA.I dont have any plans for new years so if anyone wants to hang out or do something call me.

♥shayna

i♥ my BeStFrIeNdFoReVeR!!!

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 07:31:38 GMT

im tired of throwing myself out there..what are you fucking blind!!!

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 06:37:19 GMT

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 07:54:08 GMT

Tonight was alot of fun cori came and picked me up and we went to bust megan out of jail and then we went to the hookah bar and we ened up meeting her boyfriend there with his tooth less friend it was by far the funnyst thing ever.I was glad i saw megan it seems like i havent seen her in 12 days.Also it was verry fun spending time with cori and were gonna go to the mall tomaorw so that should be a blast.Later that night im going to the movies with micheal..duunn dunn dunn. if he doesnt forget??..HAHA anyways my parents left to glamis tonight for the weekend so i can pritty much do what i want.Well thankgiveing was alot of fun i ate so much i think i gaid 8 pounds and that night i went to see my sister and my other part of my family in long beach i had a good time but it brought up to manny memories and besides my i had to hear about how much i changed and im not the same person anymore from my sister i had top pritty much ignore her most of the niight.Seriously cant wait for christmass im going to the mountains for a week im leaveing on chirstmass day and my flight leaves to 10 im scared to ride in plans what if it crashes!!..that would be a bummer,humm i dont really have any serious news to up date you people on so im gonna go be fat somewhere HAHA..

what im thankful for

-my mother because shes the best mother a daughter could have and she the best advise giver and im so glad she understands me

-my brother because not only is he my brother but my best friend,also not only did he rase me half my liife but hes sooo supportive

-vanessa ( my brothers girlfriend)..im verry thankful shes in my life because she helps me make the right descions in life and also makes me a better person..i wouldnt have our relationship with each other any other way

-my fat sister because shes a bitch and i like to make fun of her bc shes younger than me haha

-my dead dad haha watev im not thanxful for him bc he left me .

-and most of all my friends because i love youuuuuuuuuuu

-megan i fucking loove you i donbt think i wouldve done half the shit i do now with out you

GOD BLESS

okay im done spilling my liife story..and im glad im not thanxful for my cell phone that was once broken and make up and stuff because i saw some girls entries with that shiit and that was jsut plane stupid HAHA to you

♥hanafynn peeee peee

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 06:41:19 GMT

Well.. im waitng for megalynn to come over i desided to write some non since.Im really glad we have a 4 day weekend im getting so pooped fom class and practice,toamorw is vanessa's birthday wow shes 25 already..but she still acts 15 haha.Friday im supposed to go to the movies with micheal that should be a blast i hope that works out i love him..Yaay megan gets fucking un grouned on sat (godd bless her)lol.maybe we can do something outrageous is that the riight word? anywho next tuseday is our frist scrimige aganist esperanza so fucking be there 3:00.Haha isnt carma a bitch?

p.s someone supprize me with something good....

BABY is this LOVE for REAL?

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 00:30:16 GMT

RUUUFFFFFFFFFF RUUFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!..well as you know ive been sick for the past week and im feeling awsome except i have this disgussting caugh(i hate caughing).tonight i dont really feel like doing anything unless someone calls me,magalynns grounded(god bless you),and im going shopping tomaorw if you wanna join me call me.I was thinking to myself and i maybe wanna quit polo, if i did my parents would eat me,should i do it?????..well ive been looking into some college's, im gay i know..ive been feeling uncomfortable about my mom because shes haveing surgery(shes old)..and i have a new crush, well i would excatly say NEW i had a crush on him before but he played all firlty firltyy with everyone so that was a major trun off..hes such a great guy and he makes me laugh allloot, we have such a great friendship im afried if i told him i had a big fat crush on him things wouldnt be the same but what do i know.well anywho i think im gonna to to get fat and watch tv.....

NEWSFLASH:i love megalynn lee lee...and i have a big fat crush on fdlhglkjsdhgldsf

♥hanafynn pee pee this makes me siiick..

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 20:46:33 GMT

i have a big fat crush on someone!!!

Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.

Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.

Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.

Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.

When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.

Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day’s begun, you'll soon be waking.

Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You’re just a little white whale on the go.

♥shayshay I ♥ MEGALYNN Lee Lee

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 04:43:40 GMT

Yet again i didnt lisin to myself, and everything was a mess.Yes me and joey broke up but it was for the better because all he did was treat me like shiit.Haha nothing ever seems to change with guys they make you feel worse more than they maje you feel good,and let me tell you ignoreing a person is not a way of sloveing things.I come to realize that im not gonna get myself into another realtionship before dateing them to figgure out what i really want.Another thing i realized was that even tho you feel good at the time make sure you know what you want other wise everything turns all around.Well alot has happen in the past week, im not really feeling the greatest not in a sick matter but in a emotional one.I think that i need time to think about things but i cant think to much because ill have another break down jesus i woudnt want that to happen it would be the 4 one in the past week.I have to admit homecomeing was sucha blast ..i really wish i wouldve went with my original date because hes such a sweet heart.Even tho i was with my lame boyfriend and after he runid half my night over all i had the best time ever.Im trying to convice my parnets to let me get my spetum pircerd..what do you think???..haha well i think im gonna take it eassy for a looonnnggg tiiiime, take care

♥shayshay

- I HAVE A CRUSH AND GUESS WHAT HES NOT A FUCK ASS EATHER ..WHO WOULDA THOUGHT?

but i like him ever so much

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 02:40:16 GMT

Well lets jsut say im so confused about my "love" life.Where do i begin?..well this past week hasnt been the greatest, and i have been kinda upset the other day i saw david and when i saw him it made me think twice.Im not saying anything is gonna happen but i jsut thought about all the memories and so manny things were going through my head it was spining.All day i got worked up and i guess i was over thinking but i got this empty feeling inside and i hadnt got that since "the day my life ended".incase you didnt know that ment the day he broke up with me".Horible ,horible i say..but joey isnt excatly rockin my world right now eaither lets jsut say hes been acting wired toward me lately or to but it in other words hes giveing off a vibe that hes looseing interest in me but im not sure consideering the fact i didnt get a chance to talk to him when he called me because he hung up on me. and for such a silly bullshit reason the reason was that he droped the phone and it hung up..i dont get it im not trying to make a big deal out of this but i feel the need to say something.OKay after he hung up on me i went online and then he was on and and after min and min waiting for him to im me he did and he said" sorry for hanging up on you i droped the phone and it hung up".. a) why couldnt he call back and b) today he told megan that he doesnt always feel the need to talk to me all the time.Okay i dont get why he couldnt come to me and tell me this not to mention im his own girlfriend.I wouldve thought he would at least have the decencey to talk to me and tell me himself or something he ignored me again today or in his case "didnt feel the need to talk to me" and acted like nothings wrong.. i guess the way i feel doesnt really matter.Well i dont think im gonna be able to put up with this imatureite because im not use to it and the way hes been acting lately has been makeing me feel like shiiittt!!.Well the time will come and i wont look back..if you know what i mean.

p.s i guess me trying to let go of something i used to love so much didnt really work.I reallized that me trying to make things go back to the way things used to be didnt really go the way i thought it could..yeah dont get me wrong i like joey ever so dearly hes the only person ive had strong feelings about since david and the last thing i want is for us to break up, i jsut wish i could talk to him without feeling like im wasteing my breath.But i guess ill never get anything solved blableing on..i HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR THE BEST!!

memories last forever. jsut trying to get rid of them takes even longer..

♥ shay shay

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 02:51:19 GMT

im a animal i tell ya an animal!!!

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 05:41:53 GMT

i ♥ joey

ps. i saw the gurdge and it was the scareyst movie ever!! muhaha and i dyed megans hair that went smooth sa far as i know.Also on fri joey,jay and megan came over and we watched like 4 differnt movies and we didnt even finish haha that was funny and they nearly broke my fuckin house but there hot so that makes up for it.That night me and joey became closer not in a sexual way but a emo way like i and becomeing more closer to him and falling for him even more etc.. blah blah blah well enought of that mosshy gooshy stuff.

pps.homecomeing is next sat and im super duper excited hehe i cant wait..pshh ima drop it like its hot too haha

♥shay shay

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 07:05:07 GMT

WEll i dont have anything to really say except i have the best boyfriend ever!!♥♥

Humm.. well i was resently in a fight with jay over something stuip but we made up and now were just groovy.I have a polo game next sat vs upland and riverside im really nervous and stuff. well other than that i ♥ my boyfriend

pps..and i fucking love my best friend..sometimes i forget to put that because ima silly spatula!!

♥shay shay

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 03:04:47 GMT

HAPPY BRITHDAY TO MY AWSOME FRIEND NICK!!!..i hope youhave a super wonderful day tomaorw!!

p.s i have the best boyfriend ever!!

pps.megan is a silly spatula

me at school

me in linds pimp ass ride

this really hot fake hand we saw at the block

hey look i can paint

...seee

me and my best friend megan <3

were silly spatulas!!!

if it ant here..its not happenin

♥shay shay

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 05:36:52 GMT

Holy shit where do i begin.

well ill start off by saying me and my bff's saw the fucking blood brothers!!,damn stright we did and it was the best show of all time.I could hardly keep my clothes on haha, and me and megan practly had sex with the singer. he was in the crowd and we were feeling him up i couldnt stop danceing i fellt like iw as gonna have a hartattack bc i was so damn sweaty and worked up.and a whole lot more!!.Well im gonna have to say that was the best show ever and i wouldnt have rather gone with anyone else.Humm what else is new,oh yeah i have the best boyfriend ever, even tho we had a bad day the other day we got throught it and we couldnt be any better,and he made up for what he did in the cutest way i <3 him!!!.Tonight i went to the movies with joey and we was friday night lights it was boring because i dont understand football but all i cared about was spending time with him, god i so cheezy but what can i say im sooo in like..well homecomeing is comeing up and im so excited thats all i have to say...

♥shay shay

yeah i know were bad asses!! my fucking bff..suckas!! im hot i know cracker crew @ knotts

likeing someone can be better than it seems

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 01:21:11 GMT

Well,well,well

this wekkend was fun, i went to oct fest with ryan,chelsea and neda witch those kids are always fun i had a blast,i went on a ride with jay and it broke down it was scary.( i forgot we met up with him). that night chelsea spent the night and we were being silly!!.Hhah and the next day joey called and he wanted to know if i wanted to go to a baseball game with im so of corusewe said yes. jon,shottwell,blake,nick,chelsea,me,jon and joey went it was sooo much fun i thought it was gonna be hella boreing but over all of course i had fun.Not to menttion the sun was puting me in a bad mood,well then later that night joey invited me to a football game and i went with chelsea to.We couldnt find him in the beganing bc he was being a fuck ass (not gonna mention that) but then we found him and of course al lthe fun began hehehe.i spent the night at chelseas hosue and that night i found out soo much stuff about somene likeing me!!..it pritty obivous who it is GOSH!! well anwyays i was WAAAY SUPER EXICTED WHEN I FOUND OUT!..it changed everything in a good way.Today me and chelsea went to vist joey at work and hung out and stufff that was fun again ..haha well that was my SuPER EXCITEING WEEKEND!!..

everything is everything, but nothing is nothing at all..

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 00:24:45 GMT

Well school has started and i couldve have done it with out my wonderful friends.I have okay classes i guess not to hard and not to eassy.So far theres no hot boys well theres some but nothignt to fall for.Humm eww i have polo training it SUCKS ASS!!, im so tired when its done its gross,haha i uploaed some pix from when we got drunk at my house and from knotts,The whole geting drunk thing is a differant story, haha me anad cori went rideing around on my bike or at least tryed to and when we were rideing around we stop by the curch because there was some boys trying to talk to us and we put down my bike not even for 30 sec and one of those little fucks tryed to steal my fuckin bike! BULLSHIT! thanks to cori she got it back. I think i got a homecomeing date now thanx to MEGAN THE MOST WONDERFUL SEXY PERSON OIN THE WORLD!!..he told her that when i ask him it better be cute and i have the best idea in the world hha well i hope you enjoy thses hot pix

take care shay shay a.k.a marge/pholynn

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 22:56:00 GMT

me and fiona in vegas baabbyy!!

BIG DELICIOUS MEGAN AND I

me,ashlee and cori (crcker crew minus 2)

me and my best friend megan (drunk at my house)

yeah you wish you were us!!

MY BEST FRIENDS!! (minus ashlee)

me and my little sister AWWWW!

cant touch this

the night we got drunk at my house

im wearing megans hot ass glasses

befor a zinger...

after!..haha

i really dont have a mullet I SWEAR!!

my litle sister drunk!!

..this doesnt seem real. please tell me its not

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 10:13:21 GMT

I t just doesnt seem real..like its in a movie or a book or something fucked up.My old best freind had broke the news to me that he is die'ing., we stop talking for awhile and all of a sudden a sprung this apon me,it isnt fair,.I was so shoked well i still am and i dont wnana beleave it even tho i know its true its jsut really really hard.I never had to deal with anything liek this before and i guess tonight is the night i guess.Not to mention i used to live with im that makes it hella alot worse,he has lung problems and he has a blood infection and i cant stop crying.It hurts me soo bad to think about it.We went though so much togher and to hear hes dieing kills me i cant even desrcibe how i feel in words.I feel like i have no emotions or anything.The thing that really hurts me is that he makes jokes and hes happy about it and he pretends that everything is okay BUT ITS NOT,i should be happy that hes happy i am in all means but i still cant deal with it.He keeps telling me everything will be okay and if anything happens he has a breathing machine if worse comes to worse.H even told me he has his funeral thing lied up who he wants to be there and he said ill be the frist to be let knowen he past away.I cant stop thinking about when the time comes and his mom calls me and is like "shaina sorry to break it to you but kennth is dead".Its like hunting me or something its HORRIBLE.I think well i know that im gonna have a emotional break down soon i can feel it.And i dont think that i could so this with out help, everything i talk about or think about i jsut start crying i feel hopless.like i cant help him but all i can do is be there for him.I hop to god if there is one that the day wont come..god im a mess

..i need some rest maybe ill be the one who doesnt wake up...

♥shay shay

It seems no longer love can trun me on?

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 08:00:28 GMT

Okay likeing someone isnt as eassy as i thought it would be.Okay you see i like this speical someone (no names), and i dont realy wanna tell him or anyone except one other person.Because i know if my friend found out it would be wired.well maybe it wouldnt be but thats what i think at least and i really wanna have something with this speical someone and whenever i talk to him i get super excited and blah,blah,blah..But theres one thing that stands in the way ..knowing if he likes me back,i guess im scared of rejection. I didnt really plan on likeing anyone or wanting to get surrious or anything because of fuck face david.But with him its differant or maybe i just want someone but im sure its him or im confused? "If your gonna like someone or have feelings for them you hsouldnt hold it back nad dwell on it because a friend likes them ar at least did".-jen haha thats what she told me. god shes awsome.I guess its because i feel bad or gulity..well i hope things change for the best

NEWS FLASH:some one tell me something so i dont feel duumb ♥shay shay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORI!!!!!!!

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 07:56:26 GMT

Well today was cori's BIRTHDAY!.HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND!! i had so much fun hanging out with the girls (megan,ashlee,linda,cori) we went to the hookah bar for her birthday and we got a free hookah not to mention we had 3 plus that one.After that we went to starbucks and cori got free coffe and a cake thing and the guy who worked the lit his lighter and she blew it out lucky bitch.God i wish i got frre shit on birthday.oh well haha.In linda's car we were lising to gravy train!! (THE BEST FUCKING BAND EVER!!) in megans ghetto ass boom box.haha it was funny. well that was my night.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORI..I HOPE WE MADE IT WONDERFUL

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 07:59:00 GMT

me and one of my best friends megan on my birthday( i look wired)

i ♥ this pic

megan and i at hookah..yeah were hot we know

me and my hot fanny pack THANX TO MEGAN

me in vegas

this is so live journal

i cut my hair..its so hot but i dont have pictures yet but SOON to come!!